100 Grammar Jokes and Puns for True Grammar Nerds

by NEW YORK DIGITAL NEWS


Whether you’re an English teacher, reading specialist, or just a grammar nerd, we get you. Much of the We Are Teachers staff are self-proclaimed grammar jokes and puns junkies, and we embrace it. Don’t ask us about the Oxford comma, though. We’re a divided group on that one. However, we can all agree that these grammar jokes and puns are funny. Print these grammar jokes and puns out or put them up in your classroom when you or your students need a good laugh.

1. You can’t go wrong with alphabet puns.

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know y.

2. Good morning, sunshine!

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned

3. Everyone loves a good knock-knock joke.

Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? No, to whom.

4. This one is for fans of The Office.

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - "That's what." - she

5. Some things cannot be avoided.

I avoid cliches like the plague.

6. Does this make you hungry?

"Your dinner" vs. "you're dinner": One leaves you nourished, the other leaves you dead.

7. A little courtroom humor is always appreciated.

Eight vowels, 11 consonants, an exclamation point, and a comma appeared in court today. They are due to be sentenced next week.

8. It’s a journey …

Every time someone types

9. This is for those who like to fly under the radar.

Whoever put the letter

10. It’s a real pain in the …

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - Autocorrect has become my worst enema.

11. It’s grammar girl power!

12. This will make your teacher proud.

When I was a kid, my English teacher looked my way and said,

13. Can you relate?

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - My life is a constant battle between wanting to correct grammar and wanting to have friends.

14. What a moment!

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

15. One of these is furry …

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

16. Build a strong relationship.

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - Why should you never date an apostrophe? They’re too possessive.

17. So full of holiday cheer.

What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.

18. A beastly genius …

19. So sad when this happens …

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate? The noun declined.

20. Sounds delicious!

Synonym rolls: Just like grammar used to make.

21. Decisions, decisions …

Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Pencils confused him—2B or not 2B?

22. Gotta keep an eye on it!

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - Never leave alphabet soup on the stove when you go out. It could spell disaster.

23. Sometimes less is more.

Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it? Short.

24. I didn’t see that one coming.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

25. That’s a mouthful!

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - I before e ... except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.

26. Uh-oh …

Double negatives are a big no-no.

27. You just shouldn’t do it.

The passive voice is to be avoided.

28. It’s absolutely disgusting!

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - Bad spelling makes me [sic].

29. So soothing.

How do you comfort a grammar snob? “There, their, they’re.”

30. His own worth enemy …

A man was severely hurt as a pile of books fell on him in the library. Apparently, he only has his shelf to blame.- grammar jokes and puns

31. The perfect itinerary!

Grammar jokes and grammar puns - When my teacher asked what I want to do for vacation, I said,

32. Must be out of this world!

My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity, and boy, she cannot put that book down.

33. They’re totally different …

“When is a door not a door?”

“When it’s ajar.”

34. Sometimes it’s so obvious.

A word in this sentence is mispelled.

A word in this sentence is mispelled.

35. Not even if I were starving …

“Let’s eat Grandma!”

“Let’s eat, Grandma!”

Punctuation saves lives.

“Let’s eat Grandma!”

“Let’s eat, Grandma!”

Punctuation saves lives.

36. Victory is there’s … or theirs?

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

37. It’s a long time!

Seven days without a pun make one weak.- grammar jokes and puns

Seven days without a pun make one weak.

38. This one is pushing it …

You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

39. Know your limits!

What did the period say to the sentence?

What did the period say to the sentence?

“We better stop now!”

40. So cheesy.

Do you comma here often?- grammar jokes and puns

Do you comma here often?

41. In a classroom far, far away …

Metaphors be with you.

Metaphors be with you.

42. Hmm …

One night a man and a woman walked into the bar they left. Who remains?

The night.

One night a man and a woman walked into the bar they left. Who remains?

The night.

43. It’s the best!

What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.- grammar jokes and puns

What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?

Expla-nation.

44. It goes on and on.

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?

Rubberband—because it stretches.

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?

Rubberband—because it stretches.

45. Must have been lonely.

When I was young, there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. Nobody knew Y.- grammar jokes and puns

When I was young, there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
Nobody knew Y.

46. Makes sense.

Name a bus you can never enter.
A syllabus.

Name a bus you can never enter.
A syllabus.

47. It still sounds funny!

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

48. Who’s going to tell them?

I invented a new word! Plagiarism.- grammar jokes and puns

I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

49. Time for a fresh cup.

What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?

A teapot.

What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?

A teapot.

50. Tom, meet Jerry.

How do you spell mousetrap?

C-A-T.

How do you spell mousetrap?

C-A-T.

51. It’s a struggle. Every. Day.

My life is a constant battle between wanting to correct grammar and wanting to have friends.- grammar jokes and puns

My life is a constant battle between wanting to correct grammar and wanting to have friends.

52. This is a classic.

What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

53. Oh, no.

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous- grammar jokes and puns

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous

54. The pirate’s life for me!

What letter of the alphabet is filled with water?

The C.

What letter of the alphabet is filled with water?

The C.

55. It’s just so simple.

How do you make seven even? Remove the S.- grammar jokes and puns

How do you make seven even?

Remove the S.

56. No wonder I’m always freezing!

Why are writers always cold?

They’re surrounded by drafts.

Why are writers always cold?

They’re surrounded by drafts.

57. Take control of your fate!

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.

It could spell disaster.

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.

It could spell disaster.

58. Less. It’s less.

So many people are bothered about correct grammar.

I couldn’t care fewer.

So many people are bothered about correct grammar.

I couldn’t care fewer.

59. Line up!

What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order? The Q (queue).- grammar jokes and puns

What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?
The Q (queue).

60. Just sitting in silence.

Last night someone broke into my classroom and stole all of the dictionaries.

I’m lost for words.

Last night someone broke into my classroom and stole all of the dictionaries.

I’m lost for words.

61. So bossy!

Comma said, “I think we should slow down for a while.”
Full stop replied, “We'd better just stop right now!”

Comma said, “I think we should slow down for a while.”
Full stop replied, “We’d better just stop right now!”

62. Some things are so literal …

What is at the end of the rainbow? The letter W.- grammar jokes and puns

What is at the end of the rainbow?

The letter W.

63. Yikes.

Saying "I'm sorry" is the same as saying "I apologize." Except at a funeral.

Saying “I’m sorry” is the same as saying “I apologize.” Except at a funeral.

64. They got what they deserved.

64. They got what they deserved.

“You need to be less selfish. Remember, it’s cact-us.”

“Actually, the plural is ‘cact-i.’”

65. Stay focused.

Wife:

Wife: “You need to do more chores around the house.”

Husband: “Can we change the subject?”

Wife: “OK, more chores around the house need to be done by you.”

66. It’s direct.

Can you spell composition with two letters?
SA (Essay).

Can you spell composition with two letters?
SA (Essay).

67. They’re going down either way.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

68. Sounds rough.

Did you hear about the pregnant woman who started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”? She was having contractions.- grammar jokes and puns

Did you hear about the pregnant woman who started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?

She was having contractions.

69. Impressive.

Is there a word that uses all the vowels including y?

Unquestionably.

Is there a word that uses all the vowels including y?

Unquestionably.

70. You can’t make this up.

Hyphenated and non-hyphenated. Ah, the ironies of English!- grammar jokes and puns

Hyphenated and non-hyphenated. Ah, the ironies of English!

71. He doesn’t listen …

My brother gave his teacher a thank-you note that said "Your a good teacher." I'm not so sure!

My brother gave his teacher a thank-you note that said “Your a good teacher.” I’m not so sure!

72. Wait a minute …

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

73. Do accountants handle that?

There is a special tax suitable for people who destroy the English language. It is called syntax.- grammar jokes and puns

There is a special tax suitable for people who destroy the English language. It is called syntax.

74. It’s all about perspective.

Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect.

Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect.

75. That didn’t go as planned.

John was excited because his local newspaper was hosting a pun contest. He stayed up all night carefully creating ten puns. He submitted them the next morning. When the results came back, John checked to see if he won but, alas, no pun in ten did.- grammar jokes and puns

John was excited because his local newspaper was hosting a pun contest. He stayed up all night carefully creating ten puns. He submitted them the next morning. When the results came back, John checked to see if he won but, alas, no pun in ten did.

76. Why is it so hard to say “thank you”?

What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty?

Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take complements.

What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty?

Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take complements.

77. It takes some effort.

English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

78. He needed to go.

I was a surgeon with bad punctuation.

I got fired for leaving out a colon.

I was a surgeon with bad punctuation.

I got fired for leaving out a colon.

79. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time …

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

80. So philosophical.

The past is history, the future a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why they call it the present- grammar jokes and puns.

The past is history, the future a mystery. But today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.

81. Huh?

A question mark walks into a bar?

A question mark walks into a bar?

82. Very chill.

Why is the B so cool?

Because it’s in between AC.

Why is the B so cool?

Because it’s in between AC.

83. It’s all hieroglyphics to me.

An ancient Egyptian student is chiseling his essay into a stone. His teacher says,

An ancient Egyptian student is chiseling his essay into a stone. His teacher says, “No, you should never end a sentence with an ox.”

84. It’s all about taking chances.

There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.

There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.

85. Stay sharp!

As I struggled in the class with a dull pencil, my teacher looked at me and said,

As I struggled in the class with a dull pencil, my teacher looked at me and said, “Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.”

86. Make a good impression.

One night an owl said "Whom" instead of who, and my father exclaimed, "Now, that's a classy owl right there!"- grammar jokes and puns

One night an owl said “Whom” instead of who, and my father exclaimed, “Now, that’s a classy owl right there!”

87. … right?

English teachers are always write!

English teachers are always write!

88. An essential question.

My classmate was late for class, and he said,

My classmate was late for class, and he said, “It was raining cats and dogs.” To which our teacher smiled and asked him, “Did you step in a poodle?”

89. That’s a genre, right?

I want to be a great lyricist so I wrote a song about tortillas. It is actually just a wrap.- grammar jokes and puns

I want to be a great lyricist so I wrote a song about tortillas. It is actually just a wrap.

90. So much gratitude.

Thank you for explaining the meaning of

Thank you for explaining the meaning of “many.” It means a lot.

91. Gotta have the right skills.

The criminal's greatest asset will be his lie ability.

The criminal’s greatest asset will be his lie ability.

92. Punctuation is important.

The doctor laughed at the patient's symptoms: "Unable to eat diarrhea!"- grammar jokes and puns

The doctor laughed at the patient’s symptoms: “Unable to eat diarrhea!”

93. Or some variation of that.

When the English majors got married, the pastor said,

When the English majors got married, the pastor said, “I now pronouns you, he and she.”

94. Not the best decision …

The teacher did not promote the Braille language as it was too touchy.

The teacher did not promote the Braille language as it was too touchy.

95. That menu sounds iffy.

We were a bit alarmed when the young girl wrote,

We were a bit alarmed when the young girl wrote, “I like cooking my family and pets.”

96. Literally cheesy.

Which cheese is made backward?

Edam.

Which cheese is made backward?

Edam.

97. Must be uplifting.

My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity. She can't put it down.

My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity. She can’t put it down.

98. Is that a new shade?

What is the color of the wind? Blew.- grammar jokes and puns

What is the color of the wind?

Blew.

99. Could be worse!

What is at the end of the world?

The letter D.

What is at the end of the world?

The letter D.

100. Green with envy.

Can you spell jealousy with just two letters?
NV.
- 
 grammar jokes and puns

Can you spell jealousy with just two letters?

NV.

Come share your favorite grammar jokes and puns in our We Are Teachers Helpline group on Facebook!

And if you liked these grammar jokes and puns, check out our Cheesy Teacher Jokes That Make Us Laugh Out Loud.



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