Photo: MTV
People hate the makeover challenge. Some faulty judging over the years (yes, Cheryl Hole did well at this challenge and was still put in the bottom), the dependency on people other than the queens themselves (what was Joslyn Fox to do?), and unclear rubrics (what exactly is family resemblance?) have made this challenge the enemy of Drag Race superfans far and wide. I think this is largely a symptom of it typically being a late-stage challenge, at the end of which the show needs to have a final group that makes sense.
I’m not, on principle, opposed to the challenge — it asks for skills that queens will need if they’re going to go on the press tours that Drag Race winners typically go on. They will need to explain drag conceptually to people who don’t get it, they will be asked about the mechanics of the craft, they will need to quickly connect with people. It makes sense. Being able to express your heart and show vulnerability are fundamental parts of Ru’s drag, so, like everything else on this show, it makes sense that she expects her girls to be able to connect to others.
Plus it can be fun! By now we know the queens so well that it’s nice to have some new people in the mix, throwing them off their game and adding a little spice into the room. This week’s version of the makeover is especially exciting in that regard because the dancers are already comfortable among the queens. Ultimately, inviting them is a branding exercise — it reminds people that Drag Race Live! exists and gets them to care about the otherwise-anonymous dancers — but “Buy it on iTunes” used to be this show’s catchphrase, so there’s no point in begrudging a little spon here and there. The fact that they’re dancers expedites the typical parts of the episode where the queens have to teach people how to move like performers, which is nice, and cuts directly to the fun part. The dancers all know drag queens, so there’s no discomfort, even from Nymphia’s straight guy. I had a great time getting to know these guys. There’s no way you’ll find me in Vegas unless Beyoncé announces a residency there, but if I went, I’d have a good time cheering for them. That’s the point.
The episode opens with a discussion of Sapphira’s winning streak, and you get to watch as the non-Plane and Sapphira girls come to terms with the fact that they aren’t winning the season. They all put on a good face, but it’s becoming clear. Plane might have had the same reaction, but she’s also coming off a win and is actively delusional, which is for the best.
No mini-challenge this week (sad), so the girls get paired with their boys purportedly at random. I would find this disappointing, but there’s little to no real drama among the queens at this point (in contrast to Loosey versus Luxx and Mistress at this time last year), so it was going to shake out fairly no matter what. Also, it’s not like there’s really a bad option. Again, they’re all gorgeous professional dancers who work with drag queens.
The biggest challenge for all the girls is that men were cast in the Vegas show because they’re big, hulking masses, so turning them into, in Plane’s words, “dainty” ladies is going to be a challenge. It’s all about proportions and coverage. The girls that get that do well. The girl that doesn’t is Morphine.
Morphine talks a lot of shit this week, because she’s clearly the best makeup artist in the cast. I did have a moment initially when I thought that maybe she wouldn’t go home this week and could maybe even win the challenge. Unfortunately for her, the makeover looks she brought from home don’t make any sense for her partner. That’s her bad, to be honest. All these girls know to bring makeover looks, which is smart thinking, but the smartest girls know that they have to make sense no matter their partner’s body type.
Plane gets lucky by having a guy whose main goal is to be a skank. She also gets lucky that he’s a quiet guy who turns on the personality onstage because her transformation is more immediately drastic than the others’. I wouldn’t assume this would necessarily be Plane’s challenge, but by the time she has Ru doubled over laughing at the drag name “Lazy Susan,” I saw where it was going. For what it’s worth — I laughed too. To quote RuPaul in last week’s judging panel: That was funny.
Q tries to convince us that she’s taking a risk by doing something out of the box. I’m not convinced. Crystal Method took a risk in season 12 by going for the Bert and Ernie thing, but by now it’s well established that the judges are into this kind of makeover look, and they also like it when Q puts on her weird mugs. Risk arc: denied!
Sapphira shows her first sign of weakness this week, after being totally thrown off by the inclusion of a dance aspect when she had a monstrous gown planned. I get her point, but also — do the judges ever really care about the dance part? They usually just kind of gloss over it, and they do this week, too. I think a killer look might have been worth the risk, but Sapphira’s not in the business of risk-taking. She’s in the business of complete precision, which is, ultimately, her downfall this week.
Nymphia has a fun week. Her guy is straight to her abject dismay. She tries to spin it as a potential issue, but also … he’s a professional dancer. I think he’ll be able to pick up the right moves. They share a cry over how difficult it is to be self-critical, which is nice. I really don’t think her “Woe is me, I’m going to do terribly” act is an act: That is just how she operates, however annoying it may be.
Q is first on the stage. It’s a polished, creative monster look that completely fulfills the challenge. Good for her. I do kind of think she took the easy way out on her guy’s face by completely eschewing the style she typically uses. The other way to look at it is that she smartly adapts to the fact that her dancer has a giant, manly chin. Who can say? Her runway walk, apparently choreographed by her dancer, is the best runway walk she’s had all season — it might be worth it for her to take on these more character-based styles moving forward.
Morphine’s paint is great, and they make a fun pair. Thus ends my compliments of this showing. The judges mostly come for her proportion issues and the dresses being basic, but it’s more than that — the dress on La Tina is just a total misfire. The nude illusion doesn’t match his skin tone and covers a tattoo that you can visibly see through the nude illusion. The zippers in the back are distracting. The hair is, yes, too small. The dresses are, yes, too basic. And his shoulders, dear God, his shoulders. They are humongous (good for him!) and completely ruin any illusion that the face provides. Yes, she has the makeup skills for this challenge. No, it didn’t ultimately matter.
Nymphia’s look is really adorable. I love the bird concept, and their little bird walk where they bounce at different times is perfect. Not much to say here — a basically perfect showing. TS Madison gives a critique that she wears yellow too much, which will certainly stir much debate. I don’t think it mattered much because she’s still a lovely second place.
Sapphira uncharacteristically botches it this week. Her concept is “orange,” which is not a concept. Michelle levies the critique that there is not enough “family resemblance.” This season, that means that the outfits don’t go together, which they don’t. Also — Shakira’s boots are ugly and silver, a color that doesn’t go with the outfits, and she appears to have contoured his pecs as opposed to fully covering them. Again — hide the muscles. Do I think Sapphira’s in any danger of not winning the season because of this? Not really, but it’s nice to have at least a little tension heading into the final stretch.
Plane Jane destroys this challenge. It’s not that the looks are so incredible. They are fine. It’s that, as a duo, Plane and Lazy have presence. Watching them interact is like watching a well-oiled machine of bitchy sexiness. They make a remarkable duo. Lazy is clearly the star of the made-over girls, and Plane is the one who harnessed it. Perfect makeover.
Plane wins (correct) and Sapphira and Morphine are in the bottom (also correct). At this point, we all could have shut off the TV, because Sapphira was not going home and everyone in that room, Sapphira and Morphine very much included, knows it. Sapphira must have wished upon a monkey’s paw for a Beyoncé song this year, because her lip-sync songs since then have been Meghan Trainor and Kelsea Ballerini. Still, she does a good enough job, and even if she hadn’t, she would have had to Ginny Lemon herself to actually go home. Morphine heads out, as is correct. My end-of-season Morphine review: Loved her. I hope a Miami girl wins one day.
• I’m tired of the “country singer goes backstage and gets praised by the queens”–industrial complex.
• Gonna lock in my winner pick as Sapphira with an added hope that someone goes home next week.
• Something I’ve forgotten to mention is my continual ear envy for Nymphia. She makes me want to go get like eight more piercings.
• U.K. vs. the World Report: The reunion format was fine. They only provided me with the first of the three lip syncs for some reason. More on the finale next week, then.
