Dear We Are Teachers,
I can’t help but notice that the male teachers at my elementary school somehow never have to do the tasks that go “above and beyond” the duty of a teacher. They’re never on the list to volunteer to help out, lead a group activity, or organize (or contribute to) a potluck. They’re never hounded to join the Sunshine Club or bend over backward to the whims of PTA moms. Should I point this out to my principal? If so, how?— Voluntold to Volunteer
Dear V.T.V,
*Phew* As a teacher and a toddler mom, I know the unspoken mental load placed on women, whether intended or not. It’s not only unfair but also a breeding ground for resentment.
Before doing anything, I’d step back and consider the whole picture. When you say “hounding,” what do you mean? Are teachers being specifically told/voluntold to do something, or is it a gentler ask that some faculty are possibly misinterpreting? A clear dictum can be addressed directly, but a less direct ask may need more nuance when discussing it. I also know my desire to people-please can make me feel like lots of things are being put on my plate when, in reality, I also agree to things I don’t have to do, and I had to learn how to say no. Is the ask targeted towards women specifically, or are women more likely to step forward?
Please know that I’m not saying these things to undermine your concerns. I’m saying this so you’re ready to respond to possible counterarguments that may be raised.
Whether to approach your principal depends on your relationship with them and your level of frustration. If you have a good relationship with your principal, bring it up as an observation rather than an accusation. Mention that this question has been sitting on your heart and that you want to share it with them. Approaching it in the spirit of wanting to help support fellow faculty members and the school community overall is a good way to foster a positive conversation.
If you don’t have a close relationship with your principal, I’d gauge whether this is a make-or-break issue for you. If so, it’s worth discussing.
Do you have any fellow teachers who agree with you? Coming in a group could show the issue affects staff culture and is more than a lone complaint. Whether as a group or solo, I’d come to the table with solutions. Share your observations, respond to counterarguments, and share potential solutions. One from this article is to “make the work explicit.” Instead of having things like potluck organization or managing PTA messages be spur-of-the-moment commitments, they can become a clear role that someone (or multiple people) could fill. By making the work explicit and opening it up for larger conversation, it’s easier for the entire school community to ensure a more equitable workload for all teachers. Good luck! I believe in you!
Dear We Are Teachers,
Our administration gave “Dum-Dum” lollipops to all faculty members as the end of the week. I feel like the school is saying we are “Dum-Dums” or suckers for working at our school or entering the teaching profession. I don’t find this funny! Should I speak up?
— Not a Dumb-Dumb
Dear N.A.D.D,
It’s a tough time to be a teacher right now. Truly. In addition to feeling burnt out, many of us feel the public negatively perceives our work. When we feel our job is not only more demanding than it was but also not appreciated by the communities we seek to serve, it’s understandable we might feel defensive about the work that we do.
So, I hear your frustrations, and I want to push back on the gut reaction to getting a “dum-dum.” Has your school made you do anything that makes you believe they’re disrespecting you? Has anyone in your administration or who might have made this choice made disparaging comments about the work that teachers do or referred to you as “suckers”?
If so, then I see feeling hurt and frustrated. It would be worth telling your administration this joke is hurtful.
If not, though, I think it’s worth assuming the best intentions: small lollipops are an affordable, fun treat that’s easy to pop into a teacher’s mailbox. My administration actually does this a few times a year. I always appreciate the burst of sugar and the fun moment of finding something other than student notes or other paperwork in my mailbox. I know that they respect and appreciate my work, so I never wonder if there’s a hidden message. It’s just a nice way to be treated.
If you don’t have a reason to believe your administration is disrespecting you, take a breath and get curious: where is this defensiveness coming from? And is it actually towards your administration? Or is it traveling from another source— i.e., the public misconception of the work we do— onto your administration?
I know it’s hard out there. We’re not dummies. We’re just trying to find support in a society that may not always value us. I hope you reach out to your administrators and colleagues for that support and do not needlessly push them away if they want to help. Good luck, I believe in you, and I’m sending you lots of love and care.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m a high school teacher who collaborates with a Special Education teacher. I have a new Special Education teacher, and I have encountered several issues with them. They consistently arrive late to class, don’t participate in lesson planning. They also leave the classroom during instructional time without explanation and miss long stretches of class time. I shared these issues with my administrative team, but I was instructed to discuss them directly with the teacher. I think it’s the administration’s responsibility as their supervisors. I’m concerned it may create additional tension in our working relationship. How do I move forward?
— Collaboration Situation
Dear C.S.,
Collaborative teaching can be a challenging relationship to navigate. Even in the best of situations, it’s an adjustment.
I understand your desire to have your administration handle this situation. It feels challenging to give peer-to-peer feedback. I also understand your concern about straining the relationship. Passing it onto your administration might feel like it provides a shield so you do not have to upset this teacher.
That said, I agree you should be the first person to address this with the teacher. While it is likely not your job to evaluate this teacher, it is your job to manage the collaborative relationship you have with them. Your administration is not the one witnessing and being directly influenced by this behavior; you are. It makes sense that you connect with the teacher and share your thoughts and concerns with them before going straight to administration.
It’s possible that it won’t be a difficult conversation! It’s worth treating this person with the respect and transparency of a professional colleague; you can show you value their work by having a clear discussion with them first about the issues rather than having them feel you’re going behind their back and above their head without any warning. They may just not have known the expectations, and they’re willing to adjust.
On that note, I’d check a few things before going to the teacher. For starters, are there set expectations of their role with regard to lesson planning, timeliness, or staying in the room? I’d imagine there are, and I’d have those handy when you share your concerns with them. I’d approach them as calmly as possible, rather than hurl accusations, state the facts and the ways their work is not currently aligning with expectations, and discuss how changes they make can do what hopefully everyone wants to do: support student success.
Also, do they collaborate with other teachers in a similar role to yours? I’d reach out to them and see if they’re facing similar issues. If so, it might be helpful also to share the expectations with the teacher so they know that it’s not just an issue you’re having but a more significant shift that needs to be made.
If you’re really uncomfortable or you tried voicing your concerns to the teacher already and it didn’t go well, you can ask someone from your administration team to join you for the conversation. I think it’s essential you are present since this is your lived experience and class culture at stake, but it doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Good luck, and I believe in you!
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m in my second year of teaching and am exhausted all the time. I thought it would help to cut out my weeknight activities, so I canceled my barre class and book club. But now I’ve gotten to the point now where I don’t even want to do anything on the weekends either. Does teacher exhaustion ever get better? Or is this a problem I need to fix myself?
—Exhausted New Teacher
Recent Comments